My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
