Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
