I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
