she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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