you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
