Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize