he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
40s are totally the cure
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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