I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize