you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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