i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
