do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
