don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
