this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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