The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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