ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
