two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
