i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Randomize
