my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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