so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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