Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
