why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
