Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
