I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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