and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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