oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize