It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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