Where are you?
In a non slutty way
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
