Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
