is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
