Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
