I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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