We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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