Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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