I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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