He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
