How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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