if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
