I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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