sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
