he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
