I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
