I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Randomize
