I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
