I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
