My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
