Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
