marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
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