I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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