john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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