it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
