the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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