So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
