there was a trapeze. enough said
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
