Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
