a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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