Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
