put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
