Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
