I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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