where does the pee come out of this thing
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
