We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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