That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
