Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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