yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
