Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
