I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
