worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
