im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
i think my cat just said my name.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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