I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
